Let’s talk about how not to pronounce quinoa...
I just need to warn you. There’s a lot of craziness ahead. You have to be a die-hard quinoa fan with a tolerance for really lame jokes to get through this page...
Are you still with me? Good! I knew you’d stick around.
I’m going to give you three crazy ways that I’ve heard people say quinoa.
By the end of the page I fully expect you to be yelling “YOU CRAZY!” at the computer. That’s alright. Just make sure no one else hears...
And of course if you want to find out how to properly say quinoa you can check out our page on it here.
Now, on with the craziness!
I don’t know about you… but when I hear people say quinoa like “kwi-NOH-ah” I get pictures in my mind… Crazy pictures...
I imagine a guy name Noah Quinn at the doctor’s office. The nurse comes out with her appointment sheet and reads the name, “Quinn, Noah?... Is Quinn Noah here?!”
Just then -- an evil villain bursts through the doors into the room. He goes by the alias Sloppy Joe. And he’s threatening all the people in the waiting room with bad health!
Suddenly, Mr. Quinn -- mild-mannered reporter that he is -- tears back his shirt to reveal a large Q covering his rippling pectoral muscles!
It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No -- it’s super-grain!
...
What? That scene doesn’t immediately pop into your mind when you hear someone say quinoa like that? … You mean to tell me that I’m alone in this?
Well, maybe you’ll identify with the next crazy way that people pronounce quinoa...
We English-speaking folks know what “qu” is supposed to sound like. It’s “KW” -- like quack or quick or … queen...
So when we see the word “quinoa” we tend to think it starts with a “KW” sound. “QUEEN-wah” or “queen-OH-ah”.
It brings me back to a time when yours truly had a bit of a speech impediment. Or maybe it was just natural to struggle with pronouncing the name of my sister -- Laura -- at a young age.
I would call her “OH-wah” or something similar. Ls and Rs are difficult for youngsters like I was at the time. At least I got the vowels right!
Any way, like all little girls, my sister “OH-wah” wanted to be a queen. So, she would have been Queen Ohwah -- dispensing justice, nutrition, and good health to all in her kingdom...
And even though that would have been a fine name for my sis’ -- it’s unfortunately not the way to say quinoa...
OK, you’ve stuck with me! As your reward, I’ll divulge one last crazy way that people pronounce quinoa...
So, my cousin, sister, and I would go to our grandma’s house often as children. And one of the main forms of entertainment we would enjoy was her handheld digital card games.
I remember playing pocket Keno ad nauseum. It was fun at first. But then it became a little taxing.
So the next time I went to grandma’s house, I could imagine someone holding up the digital Keno game to me and how I might respond...
It would go something like … “Keno?” “Ah…. no thanks!”
I'm sure you agree that would be pretty crazy...
So, what do you think is the craziest way people say quinoa? Leave a comment below...
And of course -- don’t keep yourself in the dark! Please -- I beg, for your own sake -- see our page on the right way to pronounce quinoa!
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